Friday, August 15, 2014

There's a difference!

I'm wondering how often I think I know what I'm saying or feeling when I don't.  And it can cause problems.

As I have been anticipating and worrying about upcoming radiation therapy, I realized that I wasn't sure if I knew the difference between depression and tiredness.  I know that tiredness is sometimes a symptom of depression, but what if one is "just" tired and need sleep?  It doesn't seem like too much of a stretch to think that depression might also be a side effect of fatigue.

I took a linguistic side trip and discovered:
discernment stresses accuracy (as in reading character or motives or appreciating art) discernment
to know true friends>. discrimination stresses the power to distinguish and select what is true or appropriate or excellent discrimination that develops through listening to a lot of great music>.  So apparently I need to improve both!  What is true?  What is accurate?
And being such a visual creature, I sketched 4 little drawings in which I tried to depict both experiences.
Later I scanned and elaborated on each one.

 Depression, for me, is like a horrendous dark cloud that prevents me from seeing hope, choice, or even any changes in the future.  Fatigue is more a sense of being run down, wrung out and maybe not caring what choices and changes might be in store for me.  I think fatigue might need to be taken care of more immediately than depression.  Take a nap!  Or, paradoxically; the opposite -- get some exercise and THEN take a nap.
 The red flare represents the anger that can hide under depression's cloak.  It's there... AND it seems to come as a result of outside influences or obstacles.  The blue pool represents the deep tiredness... and it seems to come from within.  Where they overlap, there can be emotional riptides, eddies and shoals.  But beyond them, there is brightness, and a new day.
 This is a side by side comparison.  Depression on the left; descending from above and pushing one down... like a great burden on ones shoulders, or a huge hat made of lead that keeps you down.  On the right, that little black dot is a swimmer-- too far out to sea.  Possibly too tired to get to shore.  Not trusting the natural ebb and flow of tides, time or even a possible rescuer.
And a more graphic interpretation.  The oppressive red arrow pushing DOWN in comparison to the dark arrow trying to rise UP.  With so many little bumps, seeds, bubbles (or something) needing to be present, noticed and contended with.

How would YOU draw fatigue?  Depression?
One thing  I noticed is that doing the drawings helped me disengage from the grip of both emotions;  writing about them helped me figure out a lot about how I let them get the upper hand.

1 comment:

kath said...

Really interesting!