Wednesday, October 08, 2014

Will you still need me? Will you still feed me?

 Now that I'm 

Beatles - When I'm Sixty-Four by hushhush112

So, Monday was my birthday.  And I think I am finally acting my age (more or less).
I had "issues" about my birthday, stemming from the particular relationship I had with my parents, the mixed blessing of being an only child, and the mixed blessing of growing up in an upper middle class family.

About the only day of the year that I felt I "mattered" was my birthday.  My parents made me feel like a princess.  (See previous entry on Granddaughter's Princess Day last week.)  But the rest of the year?  Not so much.  I have finally gotten a better perspective of that a birthday anniversary is really all about.  It is up to ME to celebrate my existence.  Nobody else can invalidate or validate it (without my permission). 

There were plenty of years when I co-opted friends, co-workers, spouse(s), and, apologetically, even my children to act as surrogate parents... to celebrate my existence AND MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT on my birthday.

Well, as a dear friend told me 25 years ago, before it was a cliche,  "It is what it is."
I've passed one more year marker.  There have been great days and gray days.  There have been days when everything went right and days when everything went wrong. 

Tonight, I am grateful to be alive. 
Grateful for cancer treatments.
Grateful for friends and family.
Grateful I know where my sense of humor is.
Grateful for past and future opportunity.

Tonight my daughter took my husband and I to Grassfields in Andover. Sometimes when I think of her it is as a toddler... which makes it all the more wonderful to sit down for cocktails, a sophisticated menu, dessert and coffee... AND have her pick up the check. 
Thank you Darling Daughter!!

Monday evening after radiation therapy, housekeepers keeping house and two (!) naps, we drove to Portsmouth Market Square.  We walked a little and found a casual eatery called Friendly Toast.

The decor was 50's and 60's kitsch.  We had a stork on our table, for no particular reason that I could tell.

There was "original" art on the walls and lots of vintage signs for white bread. 

I had mac and cheese:  the ultimate comfort food.  Exactly that the Birthday Girl needed.

If you know the significance of the man's portrait with a lightening bold through his head, please let me know. .

Who knows what to make of the KK99 atomic (?) helicopter or the National Chinchilla Breeders of America, Inc. sign.....


Holly said...

Birthdays can be strange. Mine is the day after Christmas and I often had a shared b-day with Jesus. Lucky me. :-) So glad you are still with us on this earthly journey and that I am able to enjoy, and benefit, from your insights. Many happy returns of the day!

Ninotchka said...

Happy happy birthday Dana! xo

e. Tobin eckian said...

belated happy birthday!!

the friendly toast seems friendly. I havnt been there.
x tob