Journal to a Muse

Getting back to "Normal"

For me, when certain things are out of whack, I have NO ability to compartmentalize and EVERYTHING seems crazy, overwhelming, dangerous and a threat.
When my computer caught the croup (or whooping cough -- pick your own metaphorical malady) that was one of those things: I definitely felt invaded by Blue Meanies.

I sank into a well of pessimism and
1. took it personally,
2. assumed it was permanent, and
3. allowed my malaise to pervade all areas of my life.

Turns out those three thinking errors are the basis for Learned Helplessness.

I'll spare you the recap of how I came to believe those things in times of stress (You could probably figure it out if you read ALL of the archives, because the clues are there).

But the good news is that I recognized the irrationality of how I felt. (Couldn't not feel helpless, but I DID recognize that I was in the land of irrationality and sit tight while time passed and I hoped/planned for improvement.

My darling husband was much more dedicated (and effective) than the Computer Rescue guy we went to. A new hard drive, a new "OEM copy" of an operating system I trust and understand, and hours later, my computer link to the world is up and running. And while I probably owe him a billion back rubs and pumpkin pies (his recompense of choice), it was a bargain compared to the $$ estimate from Mr. Computer Rescue (who had NO people skills and insisted on telling us how ignorant we were about computers).

Before our home intervention was complete, a well meaning passenger in a car from out of state yelled and waved at me just about scaring me silly. "You have a flat tire," she screamed. Actually, it was "only" a little low, and dear husband dragged his compressor out of the workshop, filled the tire and it still is OK.
My dear daughter had the misfortune to talk to me on the phone shortly thereafter when I was a hair's breadth away from a complete melt down. I tried to explain my frazzel-ation (new word!) and her retort was merely, "Well, THIS has been an uplifting conversation."

So, to my dear daughter, an apology for failing to be a pillar of maternal strength--to my dear husband, a million more thank yous,, back rubs, and pumpkin pies--

and to you dear readers, a warning to stay away from the 3 p's of Learned Helplessness for your own sake, and to recognize the signs of the same in others.
Even if their computers are fine and their tires are inflated, ALL of us have the stressors of too much election coverage and politics (even if like me, you are heartened and hopeful about the results), global stress in financial arenas that triggers worry about job security, retirement savings, the self-employed who are watching their businesses shrink,and friends and family who may be facing the same.

I belong to an organization that encourages its members to strive for equipose. I recommend it as an antidote to frazzel-ment. Good luck!

equipoise

equal distribution of weight; state of balance, or equilibrium
a weight or force that balances another; counterbalance
Usage Examples

clinical: As there is clinical equipoise you can also change to the High PEEP strategy, although there is no specific reason to do so.
perfect: It is their sense of internal balance, centering, that allows them to act with perfect equipoise and timing.
beautiful: In looking at the change from oral culture to the world of literacy, Ong achieves a beautiful equipoise.