This may be long. I am writing to figure some things out. If it seems interesting, I'll leave the whole post... otherwise, you may only have the edited version!
I feel asleep early reading Harry Potter. DH woke me up and "put me to bed" which was sweet. But not too long after, I woke up and realized I ached.
Now the people at the chemo clinic had said I might have "bone pain".. but I had taken that to mean immediately after the Neulasta shot... I didn't expect to go a week nearly pain free and THEN have pain. Was I dreaming the achiness that seemed to come from deep in my hips (no matter which way I lay) and then from my thighs? First, of course, I worried about it. Then I considered taking the heavy-duty post-lumpectomy pain killers... finally I settled on Tylenol... It must have helped, because I "woke up" a couple of hours later. Still ached. took some more. The pain wasn't that bad, it was the fear and the thinking that made me anxious!
And then, in a daze, now that it is morning... I stepped on the scale.
UP UP UP. Damn and blast!
The body is a sneak. I haven't been eating "between meals" I haven't been chowing down.
But I haven't been limiting breads or butter, either... and then there was the Italian food I ordered in a day or two ago.
Mea culpa. Back to the veggie mush, more water....
And in spite of additional worries about tiring myself out, I WILL get on bicycle and/or walk.
Maybe the chemo makes my metabolism EVEN slower.
I feel like I am living with a treacherous body that I do not know.
In the past I felt my body wasn't my "friend".. but that I could predict it.
Everything is new. Everything changes.
I don't especially like those conclusions... but I feel better knowing where I stand.
No comments:
Post a Comment