Sometimes I'm judgmental.

 

I've been listening to endless commentaries and controversies surrounding the US Senate's hearings about the life-time nomination of Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court of the United States.

So many issues: politics, the "Me,too"movement,  sexist and tone deaf treatment of Anita Hill during Clarence Thomas' confirmation hearing.

But what's got me thinking, particularly in light of my focus on habits and accepting myself the way I am is how much I dislike and disapprove of lying.

In a study done at the University of Virginia, anonymous college students reported that they told an average of two lies per day.  Members of the community reported telling just one.

A more recent study of 1000 adults found that they told an average of 1.65 lies a day; that 60 percent of the people said they told no lies at all, and that a small minority of 5 percent of the people told almost half of the lies that were disclosed.

  
Of course lies vary in magnitude and attitude.  There are giant whoppers which are easily recognized by most listeners. Tall tales. Fish stories.

 There are half truths which cloak lies. There are "white" lies which are intended to protect the people to whom they are told. And then there are mean falsehoods which are (usually) attempts to boost the ego of the teller and shrink the confidence of the listener.

If you set yourself a goal not to lie, consider writing down your untruths.

• Are they self serving?
• Protective of someone else?
• Deliberately deceptive? 
• About particular subjects?

• Religion?
• Politics? 
• Sex? 
• Money?

 I believe in the benefits of truth telling. I'm sure it reduces internal stress and anxiety. I believe that it (almost) always improves interpersonal relationships, although sometimes it is wise to say nothing, say "no comment," or answer a difficult question with another question.  "I'm not sure, what do YOU think?"

Wishing you the success and happiness of being a truth teller.