Journal to a Muse

Christmas lights are near
Originally uploaded by Sultry

I'm not really mentally ready for Christmas; the hoopla, the decorating, or anything.
But several people are doing daily Christmas writings (Nino and Not Your Ordinary) and I feel put to shame. So to the extent possible, I'll post something daily... Can't promise it will have to do with the holidays... but I will try to make it about the "present."

Deadlines/Daily-ness

It probably has to do with habits formed as a child (although not when it came to homework!).

My efforts were often judged wanting, so I learned to procrastinate or avoid.

If possible, I skipped daily piano practice because The Mother was always there to critique. Do you know how hard it is to work at the same time there is feedback? One or the other is what works. I expanded that daily avoidance to chores, exercise, or any "self-improvement." Why bother when the feedback is always negative?

But when a deadline was hopelessly close, I would pull out all the stops, turn on the afterburner, dance as fast as I could and get the job done... with the excuse that "I started late." And the implication that The Mother should be glad I got anything done.

That's how I feel about Christmas decorating now. I used to do it for my husband. Then for the children. Even when they spent lots of Holiday time with their father, I decorated. Usually a live tree. Favorite figurines and ornaments.

DarlingHusband these days seems to think simplicity and camaraderie are more valuable than decor or flapdoodle. So I'm sticking with figurines still up from last year, candles, and a big gaudy star over the fire place.