Rest in peace, Anna Nicole
My sadness about the death of Anna Nicole is disproportionate. I never met her. Never saw her in person. Never watched her reality show. Am not a playboy or pinup fan. I remember feeling similarly when I heard the news of Princess Di's death.
I think Anna Nicole and Princess Di had a lot in common.
I see them as archetypal. Cinderellas maybe. Girls who were (relatively) unknown and poor to begin with, later elevated beyond any reasonable expectation by virtue of some typically female trait.
Of course, in fairy tales, we never actually hear about the "ever after."
And in fables and instructive literature, "bad girls" suffer some horrible fate even if they get what they wanted. Dying young is pretty horrible in my eyes.
When Anna Nicole was beautiful, she was VERY beautiful.
My sadness about the death of Anna Nicole is disproportionate. I never met her. Never saw her in person. Never watched her reality show. Am not a playboy or pinup fan. I remember feeling similarly when I heard the news of Princess Di's death.
I think Anna Nicole and Princess Di had a lot in common.
I see them as archetypal. Cinderellas maybe. Girls who were (relatively) unknown and poor to begin with, later elevated beyond any reasonable expectation by virtue of some typically female trait.
Of course, in fairy tales, we never actually hear about the "ever after."
And in fables and instructive literature, "bad girls" suffer some horrible fate even if they get what they wanted. Dying young is pretty horrible in my eyes.
When Anna Nicole was beautiful, she was VERY beautiful.
More so than her personal icon, Marilyn Monroe in my opinion. She was buxom. (No Kate Moss or Nicole Ritchie concerns about anorexia with her!). Sexy. Blonde. A knock out. A "bombshell."
But even from the time of the Guess ads, I think I sensed that there was a hollowness at her core. Dr. Keith Ablow, recently making the rounds as a psychiatric expert, said publicly what I've been thinking. Ms. Smith was profoundly emotionally handicapped. She had virtually no relationship with her father, and her mother was hardly warm and cuddly. Ms. Smith learned early on (and I'm sickened to consider how) that her sexiness got her a kind of love and attention that was exciting. Perhaps even compulsively addictive. And of course, with any true addiction, what was once "enough" becomes insufficient after a while. So one needs more of "it" or more kinds of fixes.
If you've read here for long, you know that I've looked backward into my past many, many times and discovered lots of things I was taught that turn out not to be true, or helpful, or necessary. Sometimes I feel empty because of lessons about mattering and delight that I wasn't taught. I relate to Ms. Smith on that level.
I elevated her to a kind of heroine based on my values (regardless of her motivations) :
But even from the time of the Guess ads, I think I sensed that there was a hollowness at her core. Dr. Keith Ablow, recently making the rounds as a psychiatric expert, said publicly what I've been thinking. Ms. Smith was profoundly emotionally handicapped. She had virtually no relationship with her father, and her mother was hardly warm and cuddly. Ms. Smith learned early on (and I'm sickened to consider how) that her sexiness got her a kind of love and attention that was exciting. Perhaps even compulsively addictive. And of course, with any true addiction, what was once "enough" becomes insufficient after a while. So one needs more of "it" or more kinds of fixes.
If you've read here for long, you know that I've looked backward into my past many, many times and discovered lots of things I was taught that turn out not to be true, or helpful, or necessary. Sometimes I feel empty because of lessons about mattering and delight that I wasn't taught. I relate to Ms. Smith on that level.
I elevated her to a kind of heroine based on my values (regardless of her motivations) :
- She refused to go quietly and sit in the corner... no matter how bad her life was
- She repeatedly did what it took to get back in top form (and the Guess? jeans and the Trimspa role)
- She made the most of her assets
- She was confident about her body and her sexuality
- She battled people who had more money than she did. And won.
- She challenged people who had more education than she did. And succeeded.
- She stood her ground when the media lampreys and tabloids sucked her dry,
- She was devoted to her children.
- She knew how to be a Steel Magnolia.
Yes, I realize that I'm overlooking the whispers and reports of heavy drug use and drinking. Addicts are not good parents.
But in that archetypal way, she got her happy ever after:She married someone rich and powerful and was probably "set for life."
She used her wits, wiles, wisdom and grit to stay in the game.
She didn't whine about what life dished out to her (although her baby-talk voice is something I'd rather forget)
I didn't admit to myself that Ms. Smith had become a sort of role model for me.
Who will replace her?
At three score less three, surely I can discover a more appropriate archetype..
3 comments:
Uhm, Ma? Had you ever seen her reality show?
I came upon your blog while trolling for stash ideas, but I was pleased to discover this unexpected and thoughtful post. The picture of Cinderella as a glass figurine is particularly appropriate.... Such perfection is not only unattainable, it is fragile.
But then, so is real life, too.
Thanks for the post.
I'm glad the news programs have stopped their non-stop coverage, as if she was a head of state, always showing her crying over her son's death. Let the poor woman rest in peace. Pop Naked Gun 33&1/3 in the dvd player & see that she was capable of making people laugh, rather than being a joke everyone laughed AT.
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